Becoming unopinionated, unattached and uninterested — dying with a bundle of secrets and unread love letters

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I am a BIG fan of stating the truth, especially if it’s about L.O.V.E. One of the most often comments about my personality I get surrounds something to do with how open I am with my feelings. Why the hell is this so unique? Why are people so guarded? To die with a bundle of secrets and unread love letters? I understand the HUGE vulnerability that is easily avoided when playing nice, neither disappointing or over-loving people. But playing nice also avoids the huge benefits after reaching out and calling someone who never calls you or speaking opinions that someone else silently shares.

Unfortunately, I am meeting the negative symptoms of asking for what I need and stating my most honest feelings…no love letters in return. Although I do not agree with the majority of people trapped in the dungeon of fear, maybe their heart strings aren’t played as often, sustaining the capacity of their love life. Maybe I am at the point where I need to be more accepting of the dual power of open surrender — beauty and defeat.

In order to be understood, we have to explain ourselves but the risk in that is having the other people not agree with our personal explanation of a situation or feeling. Defeat is evitable in fighting for what we believe in. I’m realizing that becoming unopinionated and unattached is more painful than the pain of being honest. And I’d rather repair my heart strings from overuse than perserving them to be buried with my body when I die. What I am seeing is that we need to take more emotional risks in our society.

Then, there’s the other question: how much do you trust before you close down? I am beginning to question my level of trust in the external world. But if I choose to close down because of hurt, I am trapping myself in the dungeon of fear; I am giving in! So I guess all that can happen is to continue to ask for what you need, find people who can fulfill that, trust those people are more than few and far between, and keep exploring our unique passions: opinionated, full of love and wonder.

So if you are daring enough, I invite you to uncomplicate your relationships and call someone you haven’t talk to in awhile, speak up to those who are not best for you and those who are. Be honest; real with yourself first and then others. And never stop trusting, no matter how f*cking bad it hurts. Five years from now, you’ll look back and laugh with even more love in your heart!

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